People prepare for their own deaths in diverse ways; some people try to avoid any reminder of death, some people use their upcoming death as an excuse to do the things they have always wanted to, and other people try to prepare themselves and their families in every way possible. Those who try to prepare themselves for the end are usually the ones to make prearrangement’s for the funeral, and create a living will and a last will and testament. More people are going beyond just this, and also creating an ethical will. Ethical wills are different from living and last wills in their content and intentions. Ethical wills have been around for thousands of years and are very popular in some cultures, while other cultures do not even understand what they are used for. The following will describe the origin, uses, and types of ethical wills.
The Origin of the Ethical Will
An ethical will is a document, usually in the form of a letter, that describes the person’s values, belief systems, wishes for posterity, lessons learned in life, and can even contain amends to people they have wronged. Simply put, an ethical will is a way for a dying person to leave their legacy. Ethical wills are not legal documents, and they do not contain any legal or monetary wishes. Instead, they are meant as a way for the person to say anything to their loved ones that they wish for them to remember once the person has passed away. This differs from a living will (a legal document containing the person’s medical wishes should they be unable to express them themselves) and a last will (a legal document containing the person’s wishes for the distribution of their property).
Ethical wills have been around for thousands of years—there are even cases of ethical wills in the bible, such as when Moses recorded his wishes for his posterity. Ethical wills have remained an important part of Jewish culture, and it is very common for Jewish parents to write ethical wills for their children before death. Ethical wills saw a resurgence in popularity following the Holocaust as Jewish people began to record their experiences and lessons learned from concentration camps. In the present day, more people are starting to be more comfortable with the idea of their own death, so they are beginning to preplan for the inevitable. As a result of this, people are starting to write ethical wills, even if they are not necessarily dying.
The Purpose of the Ethical Will
Many people confuse an ethical will’s purpose and think that it is meant as a way to reprimand posterity or loved ones for their life choices, and beckon them to a enter a better life path. This is in no way the actuality of an ethical will, in fact, it is far from it. An ethical will is meant to be a document of love and a celebration of life. In it, a person can share their life stories or perhaps even their ancestor’s life stories if they are afraid that the stories will fall out of remembrance once they pass away. They can share lessons they have learned in life, what they have come to believe and value, and things they wish their children would remember about them. It can also be a document in which a person can apologize for past wrongs, or voice things they wish they could have said, but never had the courage are ability to in person. The document should create a safe space for intimacy and connection, even after the person has passed away. An ethical will is especially important to families and loved ones as it carries on a person’s legacy after they have passed away. An ethical will acts as a way to communicate with the deceased loved one even when they are no longer living.
Writing an Ethical Will
An ethical will is most often in the form of a letter to loved ones, but it can take many different shapes and forms that are most meaningful to the person. Some people write letters, others write in pages of their diary, and some people even record a video or audio of themselves. People often include other items with the ethical will, such as pictures, recipes, items of clothing, and other objects with great personal value. A person can write an ethical will during any point in their lifetime. They do not necessarily have to be dying.
Writing an ethical will should happen in a time in a person’s life when they are willing to reflect on all of the good and bad times of their life. When beginning to write an ethical will, a person often thinks about their favorite memories with their family members, moments in time that were incredibly significant to them, a time in their life when they learned a valuable lesson, or even a time in their life when they made a mistake that they had to learn and grow from. A person also reflects on wishes that they have for their family members, or things that the person wishes they knew. After reflecting upon these things, a person will discuss them, whether in the form of writing or another way.
Ethical wills can be a very important part of someone’s life and death. The documents (or videos) are extremely valuable to family members, and serve as a powerful way to leave a legacy after death. Ethical wills can be the framework that creates lasting relationships of remembrance, love, and connection, even after a person has passed away.
Blog Resources
https://connectingdirectors.com/54114-ethical-wills-one
https://www.everplans.com/articles/how-to-write-an-ethical-will
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/writing-and-reading-ethical-wills/