Cremation has become a particularly popular method in the United States over the past few years for various reasons. It is a lower cost alternative to burial and can be more time sensitive for grieving loved ones, as there isn’t the same urgency to have a memorial quickly after the death. With the rising rates of cremation naturally comes more questions as to how a cremation is handled in the proper and respectful way. These questions bring up one that many don’t think about: what happens to the ashes after someone is cremated and how urns are to be cared for and kept in the family?
So what does happens to the ashes over time? Cremation has been a practice for thousands of years and has proven to be one of the best preservation methods for remains. The ashes from cremation consist mainly of very fine bone fragments that do not disintegrate. The ashes then can be spread or kept in an urn which can be buried or kept in the family. Ashes are best preserved if kept in a tightly sealed urn.
As cremation becomes more popular over time, many funeral homes end up with unclaimed ashes and must keep the urns with the ash remains in the home or a designated vault. Traditionally, funeral homes keep urns until a family member claims them, which means that some funeral homes have ashes over 100 years old. With the gaining popularity of cremation, funeral homes are unable to store all the urns and are being forced to bury them or spread the ashes themselves. Homes ensure that sufficient time has passed and that they have attempted to contact family members before they bury the urns or spread the ashes themselves. Most homes keep studious records of the dates and locations where the cremated remains/urns went to.
As respect for the person who died, it is encouraged that loved ones do not neglect to collect the deceased person’s ashes and give them a more personal burial/service. Loved ones or family members have several options after collecting the ashes. The ashes can be spread in a site important to the deceased, or they can be kept in an urn. If the ashes are kept in an urn, the urn can be kept in several different places.
The urn can first be kept in a loved one’s home to keep the deceased person’s memory close. There are many different styles of urn that are usually picked as a best representative of the deceased loved one. The urns can also be buried in a family plot. This is ideal in the case where a spouse may already be buried in a family plot and the family does not want to separate the two. Specifics for the burial of urns depend upon the cemetery, but they are typically buried six inches underground near the head or foot of a loved one. Urns can also be kept in a columbarium at the cemetery. A columbarium is an indoor chamber at a cemetery where urns are protected from the weather. This is a good alternative for those who may not want to bury the urn, but also don’t want to keep it in their home.
For those who choose to keep the urns in their home, they must recognize the importance of protecting the urn. The urn itself must be cared for properly, depending upon the material used. Many people feel that in order to ensure respect for the life of whoever’s ashes are being kept, it is important to pass the urns down from generation to generation. The loved one’s ashes can become a sacred symbol to the family which can serve to not only memorialize the deceased one, but also bring remaining family members closer together. However, many urns are lost after one or two generations, which is a great loss to the family.
To keep this from happening, it is wise to keep different family members’ ashes together. This can be done using urns designed for more than one person, which ensure that families are kept in one location, much like a family plot. An example of an urn like this is the Family Tree Urn, an urn designed to keep several family member’s ashes together and safe. The ashes are kept in the individual leaves that then attach to the tree. This style of urn ensures that family members are kept close to each other post mortem and that their ashes are protected.
In short there are many options for keeping loved ones close be it in your home or somewhere you may visit.