The scattering of a loved one’s ashes is a ceremonial, almost spiritual act, for setting that person free. For many of those that are left behind to perform this task, it is an opportunity to memorialize their loved one in a manner that is unique and meaningful. However, it may be something you need more information on, such as the best places for scattering the ashes, as well as the legalities behind it. If nothing else, let this week’s blog possibly give you ideas on ceremonies you may want to include when arranging this important send-off.
Generalities
When spreading ashes, “Keep your back to the wind,” says Gail Rubin, a death educator in Albuquerque. You want the ashes to disperse out onto the land or water rather than blow back in your face. If you’re unsure of the wind direction, throw a pinch of dirt or sand into the air first and watch which way it goes. The average cremated adult will produce about five pounds of pulverized bone fragments, a coarse powder that is sterile and safe to touch, even if the person died of a communicable disease. Try to scatter, not dump. “It helps to have a trowel or a spoon or ladle or something to scoop with,” Rubin says.
Scattering At Sea
There are no legal requirements except for the fact that you need permission before spreading cremated remains on to a privately-owned stretch of water. You don’t need a license to spread ashes in tidal coastal waters or upon a beach. There are even specifically-designed biodegradable water urns that float beautifully and dissolve slowly in the water.
However, you’ll have to comply with a few guidelines from the Environmental Agency if it’s within 5 miles of the coast. These include:
- While ashes themselves don’t affect the quality of water, don’t scatter any non-biodegradable items. For instance, wreaths and personal items might contain plastic or metal parts that can harm wildlife or spread litter.
- Spread ashes at a spot far from buildings and where people swim or fish.
- Spread the ashes as close to the water surface as possible. Also, avoid windy days so the ashes don’t blow about and affect people living or working around.
You should always check local/state guidelines as well, as they can change.
Scattering on Land
Depending on whether the preferred location is on public or private property, the rules for scattering on land vary. In most cases, there is no problem with scattering ashes on private property, providing you have permission from the landowner. In other places, such as a national park or a baseball field, there are specific local, state, tribal and federal regulations to follow. For example, the National Park Service issues permits for ash-scattering in parks like Yosemite so long as it is: done out of public view; at least 100 yards from any waterway; and no marker is left behind. On land, Rubin suggests finding a discrete and distinctive landmark, like a large boulder, that you’ll remember and can revisit. Note the location with GPS coordinates.
Closings
It helps guide the ceremony when started and ended with some kind of ritual. This could be a prayer, a poem, or even a simple remembrance. Regardless of how you do the ceremony, scatter with intention. Do not let a fear of death stop you from saying your goodbyes and providing a beautiful send-off to your loved one.